


number in the contacts

by sunflower_8



Series: saihara-hinata drabbles [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drinking (implied), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Substance Abuse, kind of, suicidal ideation (kind of?), vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: “it’s all shit,” hajime mutters.shuichi sighs, “yeah.”“everything’s shit.”“yeah.”(shuichi and hajime take a walk)
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Saihara Shuichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Series: saihara-hinata drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759612
Comments: 1
Kudos: 93





	number in the contacts

hajime had been buying a drink at a liquor store when his acquaintance, shuichi, stopped by. 

hajime hadn’t asked why he was there, and shuichi didn’t inquire why hajime was carrying two bottles of vodka. instead, he just offered to take him for a walk. hajime agreed.

their walk had landed them here. 

the sun starts setting as the two of them settle down on a bench, slightly wet with rain from the previous night. for a long time, they just watch the river, one that cuts through under a bridge, silently.

when hajime breaks the silence, it’s sobering. “it’s all shit,” hajime mutters. 

shuichi sighs, “yeah.”

“everything’s shit.”

“yeah.”

hajime looks over at his companion. he doesn’t believe in the living dead— that’s for gundham’s ghost stories— but shuichi’s gaunt face and dark eyes rival those of skeletons. if hajime knew him a little better, he would reach out and hug him, squeeze his shoulder and tell him it would all be alright. except, hajime doesn’t know him. he’s just a familiar stranger, a number in his contacts and a face to look at, so it’s not like hajime’s in a place to say shit. 

still, he wishes he could take away the pain on his face.

“what keeps you motivated, hajime?” shuichi asks. hajime contemplated delivering a funny answer, but he’s not a very witty person and all ways to lighten the mood have died in the back of his throat.

he breathes in and looks up at the sky, gesturing his hands at nothing. “friends. my mom. my boyfriend.” he hesitates before continuing, “the unattainable want to  _ be _ something. y’know? like, i don’t want to die when nobody knows who i even am. because that’s shitty. y’know?” it sounds a little too personal, a little too desperate, but hajime figures shuichi probably won’t judge him.

he just hums. “i understand.”

“what about you?” hajime asks, resting his chin on his knee as he looks over the river and focuses on the trees. dark. looming.  _ alive _ .

“i guess my friends too. my, ah, my uncle. and his wife. i don’t really have much else, though.”

hajime nods. he knows that saying something like  _ you have me _ will come off wrong. hajime isn’t always available. he’s either working his ass off for things that don’t matter or sitting around some alcohol with his boyfriend. if shuichi calls him, he’ll probably let it go to voicemail out of sheer exhaustion. that’s not very reliable.

(plus, adding one more thing to the list won’t change much. if someone deals with suicidal ideation, a pat on the back isn’t going to help.)

“well,” hajime forces a smile. “we’re still alive.”

“mm.” shuichi returns the gesture weakly. “guess we are.”

it’s silent for a little bit. hajime’s grown to hate silences: with his friends, they rarely happen, and fixating and stressing over his best friends trying to start a bonfire is enough to distract him from all the real stresses in his life. like how he’s shit at his work. like how he doesn’t have a therapist. like how nagito deserves more  _ attention _ and more  _ love _ and how hajime can love him forever, but nagito has more money and more intellect so he could just walk away anyway- 

and hajime wouldn’t do  _ anything  _ to stop him, because nagito would be doing the right thing, and  _ god  _ hajime is becoming a person he  _ never wanted to be _ -

“hajime.” it’s not a question, not a command. it’s just a gentle way to ground him.

hajime appreciates it more than he could ever say.

instead, he just sighs and stands up. he offers shuichi a hand, “want to head back?”

he doesn’t know where they’re going. back to the store, maybe? back home? does shuichi even live around here?

shuichi nods, taking his hand. “yeah.”

the sun sets as they walk, and hajime wishes it could stay up a little longer. 

**Author's Note:**

> vent. 
> 
> sorry. 
> 
> lovesick update and children of the night update is coming. i swear. 
> 
> stay safe. please.


End file.
